"Sorry..."

Sunday morning due to a communication problem between Shellie and I, she got the kids. So I had them saturday only until about 6pm, then Sunday at about 8pm. This coming weekend she will have them too. It's like I didn't even get any time with them. Oh well, I still get them the majority of the time. I guess she can have a little extra visitation if she wants it. I just miss them when they're not around. I catch up on housework, watch TV, and goof around on the computer.

The thing that really killed me was this: she sent me a message last night saying "..may be a few minutes late. Sorry". She says sorry, but doesn't mean it. She said she was trying to be nice "for the kids" which made me even angrier. I let her have Lexie so she could go to Kings Island. I let her MOTHER have Logan on the same day, when I REALLY wanted to do something just he and I. I let her have them for trick or treating later than usual, even though it was a school night. I ask her to trade days...told her months ahead about the weekend I would need. So she gives me the kids last Sunday. I need her to watch them Saturday night, but she says she has something going on with a friend. She has ALWAYS put friends before the kids. She always put friend before me too, which I could care less about. So then when I ask her to take them Saturday night instead of Sunday, she gets up and nails herself to a cross throwing a huge little princess fit because she's not getting her way. THEN she has the NERVE to THREATEN me and the kids. She THINKS she is just threatening ME but it's the kids too! She gets them from school on Tuesday and Wednesday and I know when she say "she will have to re-think some things" that is what she is talking about. Hell, the kids and I don't NEED her for anything else, so that's all it could be.

Well, since the kids still aren't getting any child support from her, then money is tight enough that she might really be able to hurt us this way. They are already going on too few clothes and not getting school pictures this year. I DID take them camping, but they have so much fun doing that and I'm still pretty sure that they watch a lot of TV and sit in the house a lot over there, so I feel the need to get them outside whenever possible. So aside from a few things like camping (rarely done) we are strapped down. I shop at all the discount grocery stores (Aldi's, Valu-Market, and Sav-A-Lot), I get clothes from thrift stores when I can, I have put off going to dentist and doctor for myself--three appointments I cancelled (and also I need to get Lexie in to see the doctor about a wart on her foot), I am pushing back an oil change in my car, we have not been out to eat--not even McDonald's--in months. Anything I need that isn't groceries comes from Dollar Tree (where everything's $1.00) or I do without.

I think the kids deserve better than this and it makes me mad. So when she comes off and says "Sorry..." well, I'm not proud of it, but I told her she could shove "sorry". It's EASY to say "sorry" when you're the one who is winning and you are making the other people kiss your ass. It's EASY to say "sorry" when you don't have to worry about a place to live, food to eat, and a car to drive. It's EASY to say "sorry" when there's no meaning behind it, and you don't care who gets hurt. I am beyond personal hurt from her. She can still make me angry. I just hate it when the kids have to suffer because of her immaturity.