Transparenting class--no excuses

The Transparenting people also said to be careful and not build Shellie up or make excuses for her to the children. I don’t much like it, but I’m going to do what is best for the kids. If that means I eat a big sh*t sandwich served by my co-parent, then you’d best believe I will do it. I’d eat the 14-course and then some for them. They know who and what she is. They are bright kids. It all falls back on taking the high road and letting Karma do its work. If I go down the road towards revenge, I’ll dig two graves at the end, not one. I’m not doing that. The kids need me.

Transparenting class

Last night was the Transparenting class. The transparenting people said I was supposed to ask my friends and relatives to not talk bad about my co-parent. The first part is that I obviously need no more reasons to think poorly of her and extra will only make communication worse between the two of us. The second part is that Lexie and Logan are 50% Shellie. If you speak poorly of her, then you also speak poorly of them. I realized we weren’t supposed to knock her in FRONT of the kids, but I didn’t see how it might be damaging otherwise.

Although this may be unfair, and she might need this class much more than I did, she did not attend. I don’t know how this will affect the outcome of final hearing. That is a call only the judge can make. My point is that we both had the same opportunity to research and find out about this class.

Logan's Tooth

I pulled Logan's loose tooth last night. He was brave and let me do it.
He cried for about five minutes, then I did the same thing I've always
done and distracted him about other things. Soon he was not crying and
it was time for bed so he put the tooth under his pillow. The tooth
fairy did not come last night-apparently it was too late when he went to
be so she had already been past our place. She will probably come
tonight (I was able to get to the bank at lunch and get some shiny half
dollars).

I got the kids each another polo shirt for school...unfortunately they
are both one size too small. This totally sucks because I got the same
sizes as last time. They still fit into those clothes, so why not
these??? Irritating...

I just called the school to ask about sports and boy and girl scouts.
They said nothing has started yet as of the second week of school, but
they would send things home when something was coming up. They said
that basketball doesn't start until fall. I can't wait to get the kids
started into things they like to do.

The apartment complex sent around a flyer Friday. They are having a
yard sale and I called to get us a table. We are going to unload a lot
of stuff! I'm bringing home boxes tonight to pack stuff into.

Waiting for the bus

This is the kids 2nd day of school. I made sure they had all my contact info memorized and i headed to work. I was worried, but knew i can't wait every day. They are smart kids, the daycare is right there, and they will not leave each other's sight.

First Day of School

The kids woke up like half an hour early. They NEVER wake up on their
own unless it's a weekend, or CHRISTMAS! They must have been excited.
Then, as we all got ready, every ten minutes it's "Is it time yet?" I
let them go out 15 minutes early. We walked over to the daycare where
they catch the bus. So like 10 or 15 minutes late, the bus gets there.
There was only 1 other kid at the daycare.

Lexie was grousing because she had a ton of stuff to carry. She'll be
glad to get rid of her supplies! The driver asked if Logan was in
Kindergarten and I told him yes. He tried to give Logan a band but he
walked on past oblivious. The driver says "here take this for your
brother" and gives it to Lex...the one who is carrying a 25 lb backpack,
two Wal-mart bags full of stuff and a lunch bag. I KNOW she gave him
the exasperated look!!!

The lady at the daycare told me where the depot for transfer was. They
made the transfer just fine. The depot is a fenced-in secure parking
area just for busses behind Moore HS on Outer Loop (on my way to work).
I was pressed up against the fence like a convict. I lucked out and the
line paused right before getting on the 2nd bus and I hollered at them.
Logan says "Look, it's daddy!" then he looked at sister and said "How'd
he get here?!?!?!" It was so funny!

First day of school!

There was only 1 other kid at the daycare. They made the transfer just fine. The depot is a fenced-in secure parking area just for busses behind Moore HS on Outer Loop (on my way to work). I was pressed up against the fence like a convict. I lucked out and the line paused right before getting on the 2nd bus and I hollered at them. Logan says “Look, it’s daddy!” then he looked at sister and said “How’d he get here?!?!?!” It was so funny!

Lexie was grousing because she had a ton of stuff to carry. She’ll be glad to get rid of her supplies! The driver asked if Logan was in Kindergarten and I told him yes. He tried to give Logan a band but he walked on past oblivious. The driver says “here take this for your brother” and gives it to Lex…the one who is carrying a 25 lb backpack, two Wal-mart bags full of stuff and a lunch bag. I KNOW she gave him the Rachael look…

Transparenting???

I saw this "Transparenting" seminar on the Floyd Co. clerk's website. It looked like something I might go to and it would look good for the court. I call to find out about it and the lady I spoke to says it is mandatory!!! I can get in before 9/11, but that was luck!!! She asked if we had filed a provisional (thing?) and I told her "no". She said that was also mandatory, but I told her that both us parents had come to
an agreement to waive the provisional (thing?). She said that's almost unheard of. Also that we were sharing physical custody was something that people rarely agree on.

So, I am set on Aug 24th at 5:30-9:45 to go to this seminar. I hope it's not a waste of the $50, but since I can't hire a custody evaluator, then I thought this was something I might do to make things a little better. I get a certificate and it's also filed the next day with the court under my cause number (which I gave her), so there is proof.

Spirit Program

GOOD NEWS!!! The YMCA Spirit Program has awarded me 30% off my fees for the after school care!!!! It’s normally $80 for two kids after school 3 days. That drops it down to $56. I might be able to survive this.

Logan's Medicine--the scam

I got the receipt from Shellie for Logans medicine. It was $21. I’ve been giving her $35 this whole time on her word that that is how much it really cost. God help us until next pay day.

Price Elementary

The kids got to see their new school on Saturday. We had to sign them
up for busses and all that stuff. They had a "bouncy thing" outside
which kept a lot of the kids happy. They told me they were looking
forward to starting, and they seemed very happy about it. We found out
that their bus stop is right outside our door! They will be in the
Child Enrichment Program that the YMCA does after school on Monday,
Thursday and Friday. On Tuesday and Wednesday, their mother is picking
them up to spend time with them. We went to church yesterday with their
grandparents, and then they took us to Applebee's for lunch. After that
we went shopping for clothes because Price has a uniform policy. They
can wear navy, black, or khaki pants, shorts, and skorts. They can wear
any color shirt as long as it has a collar. Tennis shoes are fine.
There can't be any sort of label or icon on the outside of the clothes.
The only exception is Price Elementary T-shirts. I am going to get them
a couple to wear because they are only $8 each. I don't have a
washer/dryer in my apartment so that will be rough for a little while,
but I'm not worried. You should have seen them trying on pants! They
were so thrilled about the fit and feel of real pants...they have always
had the stretchy-top pants (stretch-pants for Lexie, and sweat-pants for
Logan). They really did look sharp, and when you look good you feel good
about yourself too. I am so happy for them.

How to Make a Duct Tape Wallet - WikiHow

I have GOT to do this some time. I just ran into this by accident, and I thought (of course) HOW COOL!!!
How to Make a Duct Tape Wallet - WikiHow

Fritos are good for you

Something funny Lexie said the other day, which sadly defines much of
America's opinion:

"Fritos are good for you." She says.

I say "Not really. Why do you say that?"

"Because they don't taste very good."

I know what she meant. She is used to things that are bland, or without
lots of salt, sugar, etc. being "good for you" and things that are
sweet, salty, with lots of flavor being "bad for you". I am determined
to change her mind. Before it's too late for her like it was for me.

What I wanted all along...

I told Shellie that if she wanted to have the kids go to school this year in Indiana, then she had to pay for it. Turns out a stroke of genius on my part because I got this email back from her:

"I figure we will keep the weekends we already have...no sense changing that too. but like I said, I want them fri and sat nights. I will get them back to you on sunday evening.

the days through the week may change at first. I want to work it around lex's schooling as much as possible. Some nights last year she had more to do than others...and if she has spelling tests on friday, then I won't want to distract her that night. I will just get them from the daycare and then bring them to you by about 730 ish so they can get to bed."

She's agreeing to the arrangement I wanted all along. She did stipulate by text message this was just temporary and she wanted a judge to decide final arrangments...

Back again

Well I did it again. I'm back to square one with my protruding disk
problem. I have been getting no rest sitting up in a chair to sleep, so
I decided to try (since my back was feeling so much better) lying down
in bed. I slept for an hour or so, and then got up and it seemed ok, so
I decided to try it. When I got up this morning, it was like I had never
been to the doctor, had any treatments, and like I just hurt my back. I
am so upset. So do I give up sleep and a bed for the rest of my life?

I did not risk my life (literally) having gastric bypass and losing
almost 200 lbs to go back to having limited mobility. My children
deserve better than this. I have never been in perfect health, but
until now, I've felt so much better than I have in the past 25 years.
No matter what it takes, I'm going to get back to where I was a month
ago. I go to the doctor tomorrow at 1pm for a test, and then I will get
a referral to a neurosurgeon. I'm still looking at actual surgery as a
last option. I have had enough of that to last a life time. God help
me if it comes to that. I know I'll do it if nothing else helps.

Back Meat and Dead Kidney Pie

I went for a check-up on my back yesterday.

This was the conclusion:

a. I need to see a neurosurgeon about the possibility of either surgery,
or sticking a needle in my spine.

b. I wait a couple weeks and see if it gets better on its own.

c. Back pain + leg swelling + some other misc. things = lets check you
for kidney failure.

Add to this that I am not taking anything for pain any more and I'm just
in general not in a happy mood. I told the doctor point blank: when I
weighed almost 200 lbs more than I do right now, I was like this--not
able to do much of anything but sit without pain. I am not going back
to that for anything, so you'd better d@mn-well give me something or
somebody to fix it and quick. I'm not going to lay around in pain and
gain all that back. Not for you, and not for anybody.

Late yesterday the doc calls me back. She says "your kidneys are fine."
I kinda figured that, but I've heard of guys walking around with back
pain for a couple weeks and then dropping dead. Later they find out it
was kidneys, not back...

I went to Walgreens after work to get my water-pills (I can't stand
saying the word diuretic, even though old-people refer to it as
water-pills). The pharmacist said she would have to call the doctor
before she would fill the prescription. She said the usual dosage is
one per day. My scrip was for one pill 6 times per day....

Should I start looking for a different doctor???

drowsy vs. grumpy

I've decided to choose grumpy over drowsy. I felt like my pain meds
were not doing a whole hellofa lot of good, and I think I'm right. I
stopped taking them and I feel the same, except not sleepy. So that
means, basically, I've been seeing my doctor for going on the third
week, and it has done me ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD! I'm still not sleeping in
a bed, and I'm still not able to stand or walk for more than 15 minutes
without excruciating pain. I have to get over this soon. I can just
see myself putting on weight due to inactivity. If that happens, my
back will begin hurting all the time anyway, just like it used to before
I had the gastric bypass. Also, because I never get my legs up (they are
always down either standing or sitting because it hurts too bad to have
them up) they are starting to swell. It's really beginning to scare me
how bad they are swelling. I'm not sleeping very well at night because
of the pain. This doctor has to do something soon.

Throwing Money away...

I need shot in the head at this point. Guess who threw away $115 before 8am this morning? Speeding ticket down Green Valley Rd. 49 in a 35. I told the officer "I can't say I like getting a ticket, but I appreciate you doing your job officer. Have a nice day."

Hey, I guess I can look at it like this. This is the first time in fifteen years that I’ve gotten stopped, and did not have to worry if I had insurance or not because I am paying the bills.

I’ll take the positives where I can get them… I guess its like if you know somebody who was stabbed to death at least you can say it they didn’t suffer for months with cancer.

Reviving the 80's in Literature

I have gotten on an odd kick lately. I have been re-reading novels that
I first read back in the early 80's. They were all my brother's
stuff-science-fiction/fantasy. I am reading The Chronicles of Thomas
Covenant by Donaldson right now. I have read in the past The Chronicles
of Amber by Zelany, The Dragonriders of Pern by McCaffrey, The World of
Tiers by Farmer, The Deryni series by Kurtz, and The Books of Swords by
Saberhagen. I also have two sets that I read on my own that I am going
to re-read. The first is the Necroscope series and then the Merlin
series by Mary Stewart. I will also re-read Thieves World. I read the
first book of the Xanth novels "A Spell for Chameleon" but had to stop
after that. I downloaded that and I don't have all of them. It takes
me a long time to read a book. I do it some in the morning before work
(only about 5 or 10 minutes) then sometimes in the evening if the kids
are doing something without me (like playing at a friends house before
supper), but the only time I really get to read much is at lunch time at
work. What wonderful books have you read in the past, and would you
like to re-read them? Half-Price Books and Book and Music Exchange is a
good way to get books to read without paying an arm and a leg. The kids
(like any other kids) get the "I-want" disease sometimes. When they
haven't gotten anything in a while and I want to get something for them,
many times we will end up at the book store. That way I can reward them,
but it is constructive too. Lexie reads to me, and to her brother.
Sometimes I read to them also. We finished a Goosebumps book. We all
like Half-Price Books.

Back Pain

Ok, I'm REALLY knocking on wood here, but I think I might be over the hump with my back problem. It feels better today than I think it ought to feel. The real test is endurance. I need to get to the point where I don't have to sit down and rest because my back is killing me. I have not gotten to that point, but the first goal has been reached-I'm in no pain at all when sitting still. I'm still taking my prescription pain killers, but in another 3-4 days I'm going to start taking ½ the dose (if everything progresses normally from here). I'm still using my grandpa's walking stick, and I'm still sleeping in a chair and shuffling my feet instead of picking them up, but I'm just being very precautionary. I don't want any setbacks at all!

About VAX-D

About VAX-D This is what my doctor is using on me for my protruding disk. They said unless you do it 3-5 times a week it doesn't really help much. They do this in combo with other treatments at the same time: light (infrared) heat, sonic (ultrasound) plus they use this big vibrating device called a thumper, and electric (small shocks). They gave me a small portable unit (called a TENS unit) to take home. I wear it all the time on the highest setting. I am taking Lortabs for pain, and also a muscle relaxer--Flexoril. I hope this feels better soon. I can't stand for long, walk, sit. lay (at all). Actually lying down is the only way to get away from the pain completely, but I am denied that because getting up is so painful that I nearly throw up. I've never had pain like that before. It takes me twenty minutes to work up enough courage to just TRY to get out of bed...